


Promises

by Prysms



Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, xKisakiller764
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-16
Updated: 2015-09-16
Packaged: 2018-04-21 03:16:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4812911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Prysms/pseuds/Prysms
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>xKisa can't bear the thought of losing another person she cares about.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Promises

Kisa lies awake for a long time, staring at the pools of darkness on the ceiling. She’s sick of this happening. Nothing has helped- warm milk, meditation, counting sheep, holistic treatments, prescriptions. The dark circles under her eyes keep getting bigger, and every morning is a greater struggle. She doesn’t know how much longer she can stand it without going completely insane.

Creeperkiller is snoring soundly next to her. She watches his chest rise and fall, envying his peacefulness. Finally, she gets up to make herself some tea. It probably won't help, but at least it's relaxing.

When she comes back, Creeperkiller has woken up and is watching her with concern. “How long have you been up?”

“This whole time.” xKisa sets the mug on her nightstand and flops down in disgust. “I don’t know how much more of this I can deal with.”

“Did you take your pills?”

“Of course.”

He reaches over her and picks up the bottle, examining the label. "These are your old ones."

"God dammit." xKisa grabs the pills and shoves them in a drawer. "I can't keep track anymore."

"Here." Creeperkiller picks up the correct bottle and passes her three blue tablets. "Take them with your tea."

She gulps them down and crawls back under the covers, waiting for the Valium-induced oblivion to envelop her. When sleep doesn't immediately come to her, she sighs and resumes staring at the ceiling, counting the seconds until it does.

"Kisa?"

"Hmm?"

"I don't want to pry or anything, so I'm sorry if this seems like a personal question... Is there something bothering you? Like, anything you want to talk about?"

There it is, the question she's been afraid of answering ever since they started dating. xKisa is well aware of the dangers of keeping secrets in relationships, but she's withheld this one for Creeperkiller's own good. It's been a few months though. Maybe they're stable enough to handle it? 

“I’ve just…” xKisa hesitates, gathering the courage to speak. “God, this is really hard to talk about.” She laughs awkwardly to cover her fear.

Creeperkiller brushes a few strands of hair out of her face and tucks them behind her ear. “It’s okay. Whatever it is, it’s okay.”

xKisa takes a deep breath, gripping his hand for reassurance. “I’m… Look, my parents were kind of pushy when I was growing up. You know, a lot of pressure on me to get married and have kids.”

He nods sympathetically.

"And I just had so many unrealistic expectations about how it was supposed to happen. It sounds so dumb now but I thought it was gonna be some kind of fairy tale ending. Like I'd meet someone and just instantly know they were 'the one,' you know? But a lot of people aren't looking for a real relationship on the first date... I completely didn't know what I was doing."

"That's not your fault," Creeperkiller points out reassuringly.

"It's not that... I just kept trying. And every time I'd end up alone, wondering what was wrong with them when it was me the whole time. Some people say that's the definition of insanity; doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result every time." xKisa tries to laugh, but it comes out as more of a sob. "Maybe I'm already crazy."

"So I… like, the more I think about commitment, the more I just end up pushing them away.” A single tear splashes on her pillow. “And when it happens, I know it’s my fault and I shouldn’t have tried so hard. But I can’t help it. So I guess... my problem is that I'm just scared of losing somthing that I've been chasing. And losing it because of something I did or said." She lets out an involuntary sigh of relief. It feels infinitely better to let out all her stress and pain, like she's been suffocating for months and finally takes a breath of fresh air.

“God.” Creeperkiller wraps his arms around her and pulls her close. “Why didn't you say anything about this before?"

"I was afraid I'd scare you away or something." xKisa dabs her eyes with the hem of her shirt. "I've lost so many people... I don't want to lose you too."

"Hey." He plants a gentle kiss on her forehead. "Look, I honestly had no idea you were carrying this much shit. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to bring all this up for you."

"It's fine." xKisa sniffles and rests her head on his shoulder. "I should have told you earlier."

"You know, if it does anything to put your mind at ease, I certainly don't want to leave you because of what you said.”

She nods and takes a deep breath. "Thanks."

"And I'm not going to leave you. Not anytime soon."

“Promise?” she whispers. She knows it’s childish but she needs to hear it.

He cups her chin gently and turns her face until she’s staring into his eyes. “I promise.”

 

Five years later, xKisa is kneeling in front of Creeperkiller’s grave. Everyone has left her alone to say her last goodbyes. She doesn’t try to hold back her tears, and they leave dark spots where they fall on the freshly turned earth.

xKisa traces his name on the headstone with her fingertip. She knows she should be thinking about the memories they’ve shared through the years: the wedding, the honeymoon, the ultrasound appointment on their anniversary. But only one thing comes to mind as she remembers his words from that night.

“You lied to me.”


End file.
